My dear old Grandmother used to tell me, ‘if you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything’. And she was right.
I plough on regardless...
Entirely devoid of blog post ideas, I have decided to inflict my poetry on you. It’s okay, I know it's terrible, please don't feel you have to say anything nice.
I am to poetry what William McGonagall is to...poetry, apparently. I had never heard of him. I just Googled 'Bad Poets'.
I can only dream of his level of success.
I actually used to think I was quite good at poems. I am not sure why. And then I saw the masterpieces that Haze, my Bestie at school, used to produce at a moment's notice (and probably still does when the need arises).
Currently, Offspring No.2 is taking his GCSE Mock Exams - and complaining bitterly about having to analyse the whys and wherefores of Poetry.
We have had a fair bit of, "Why does a river represent a journey?" - a look of baffled irritation writ all over his face.
"And if it means a journey in one poem, how can it mean death in another?"
In his opinion, if you want to write about Death or Journeys - write about death or journeys. Don't go writing about Rivers if you mean something else.
And for the love of Betty Boothroyd make it rhyme!
Sometimes I do think he has a point.
'I am reminded of a Radio Programme I listened to, years ago now. I am afraid the only actual fact I can remember is that it would have been on BBC Radio Four.
There was an author - I think it was Louis de Bernieres - sitting with an audience who were discussing one of his books. At one point an Audient (that's a word) said how much she liked the image that he used of the oranges in the fruit bowl to reflect the fullness and brightness of their lives. (Or something like that anyway).*
LdeB replied, 'Cool. I hadn't thought of that'.
So, as it is an inevitability that the following poem will eventually be included in the GCSE Syllabus, I offer up an insight into my Creative Process, my Inspiration, if you will...
...which you will never be able to un-read, so use caution.
This is for you, Future Examinees!
- I found a rather lovely pad with paper quite shiny and smooth
- I had bought some new ink cartridges for my beloved Parker Fountain Pen
- The cartridges were very black
- I love Lauren Child