Wednesday, 14 August 2013


... Or, Why am I not Rich Enough to have a Cook?

Sometimes I am just not in the mood to cook.  At all.

Sometimes I can't even think of what to feed everybody let alone organise providing it. 
Sometimes I am just so darned tired or fed up or lazy that even uttering the words "I don't want to cook" feels like way too much of an effort.

A couple of nights ago I was definitely in a Not Up For Cooking Anything Much mood.  Quick and Easy was the order of the evening. 
I would rustle up some Macaroni Cheese (or Macaroni and Cheese as our American friends call it) to fill the family's hungry tums.

And, because I hadn't given up the fight completely, I would be bunging in some Bits of Ham. 
Stand back Heston Blumenthal.

I made the cheese sauce in advance.  I chopped the ham.  I had the water boiled and bubbling ready for the macaroni.  I wore a smug 'I am so ahead of myself' look on my face and I may even have glanced at the crossword.

Mr W arrived home from work and up went the flame beneath the bubbling water.

So - to recap Gladiator Style (the cheesy tv programme not the bum-clenchingly graphically violent movie) -

Cheese Sauce - ready! Bits of Ham - ready! Boiling Water - ready!

'Be off with you boy!' I cried to No.1 Son, 'And fetch me the macaroni from the shed (please).'

Off he went - but he did not return.

Well, no, he did return - just completely empty-handed.

'There's no macaroni Mum,' he said.  Not unreasonably under the circumstances.

'B..b..but...The Sauce!' I gibbered.  'The Ham!  The Boiling Water!'

'Have no fear!' cried Mr W, metaphorically (or possibly even actually) slapping his thigh,  'We will pop to the shops to get some!' 
I swear if he'd had a sword he'd have flourished it.
So I kept the Cheese Sauce and the Boiling Water bubbling over while I waited for their return.

I would like, at this point, to draw your attention to the word "pop" in the previous paragraph.

A FULL FORTY MINUTES LATER Mr W and No.1 Son returned from their tour of all the local, and some not-so-local, shops having eventually located one single packet of Macaroni.

And now I move onto my point ....

Why?  I repeat... WHY do they label packets as "Easy Open" - when they are clearly THE FURTHEST THING FROM IT?!?

They get me every time.  Every single time I am fooled into thinking that this packaging must indeed be Easy to Open, because why else would they bother with the little stickery thing?

And every single time this happens ...

Why use these stickers at all?  I'm fairly sure other criteria would be higher up the average shopper's list of requirements when faced with a choice of packaged macaroni.  Price for one.  Possibly even ingredients.  I doubt many food-buying decisions hinge on how easy to open the packaging may or may not be. Indeed I am sure many of us may be tempted to ask, 'How hard could it possibly be?'

And there you have it, dear reader.  It isn't hard - If you use a pair of scissors.  Which is what I would have done in the first place if the FLIPPING STICKER HADN'T BAMBOOZLED ME INTO THINKING IT WAS EASY OPEN!

Easy Open and Resealable!?!
I think not.
Unless ...

... Ah yes, they're right it is resealable.
As long as you have a handy clippy thing.
Right, that's me done.  I promise no more Packaging Related Rants.*
* I may not be able to keep that promise.


  1. 40 minutes to buy pasta?! Via the pub?!! Kidding, kidding. Gee, I'm so much more cynical than you - I've been using scissors to open just about everything in years. Hubs, however, is more of a 'who needs scissors, I can open anything with my teeth' kind of fella which is why I recycle glass jars. After he's opened a packet of something with his teeth, the packets no good for using again :) xxx

    1. And do you keep his broken teeth in the glass jars? :o) Kidding, of course. I imagine Hubs' teeth are a tad sturdier than mine. Mine aren't always sure they can make it through a cheese sandwich.
      Aah, it's good we can laugh, no? xxx

  2. Hahaha! This ALWAYS happens to me too x